|About Guilt Trip A Form of Manipulation in Toxic Relationships|
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who made you feel guilty? Because, her actions or words always bring up your past mistakes. Or even make you feel as if you are responsible for something you didn't do.
For example, she is angry, but when asked why, the answer is nothing. Confuse yourself. When you make a mistake, she may quip, "It's okay, you're the type of person (to mention mistakes)" or even bring up her kindness, "I've sacrificed a lot for you. Can I continue to be patient?"
Did you know that such behavior falls under the category of toxic relationships? In psychology, this behavior is known as guilt trip and I will explain it.
What is a Guild Trip?
Guilt trips are a form of manipulative behavior that aims to make others feel guilty or responsible for changing certain behaviors or decisions. On the other hand, the perpetrator also seems to want to control the actions of others. Because the feelings of guilt that arise can make the perpetrator control the thoughts, behavior, and feelings of the victim.
Guilt trip doesn't just happen in romantic relationships. Even in relationships that involve emotional feelings, such as friendships, professional relationships, or family, this guilt-ridden behavior can occur. Perpetrators can intentionally make the victim feel guilty, or it can be done unintentionally because they are used to actions that make others feel guilty.
This manipulative attitude of the perpetrator tends to make the victim feel confused. Feelings of guilt from the victim will also make them more trapped in the relationship with the perpetrator. Usually the features of travel guilt are difficult to distinguish. Did the perpetrator really manipulate or did the victim really do something wrong?
Guilt Trip Behavior Traits
Guilt trip behavior that is generally carried out by perpetrators is to bring up the victim's mistakes. It is possible that the perpetrator will also feel more sacrificed than the victim. It aims to make the victim feel worse or indebted to all of the perpetrator's kindness.
Perpetrators can also do silent treatment when there is a problem. For example, the abuser may display a cold demeanor and an expression as if he is angry, but then deny that he is angry. This is done so that the victim feels confused and tries to improve himself.
When the victim wants to solve the problem, the perpetrator tends to not care. The abuser may display gestures and expressions that seem reluctant to listen, such as looking away, grunting, or crossing their arms.
That way, the perpetrator can avoid conflict so that there is no need to argue with the victim to achieve his goals. do so to avoid conflict. Because of the victims' feelings of guilt and confusion, they were able to achieve their goals without having to argue.
Guilt trips can indeed make the victim change according to the perpetrator's expectations, but this behavior also has a negative impact on the relationship. Without communication in problem solving, this can build feelings of anger in the victim.
Guilt Trip Behavior Impact
1. Generating Hatred: Solving or avoiding problems by going on a guilt trip can create hatred towards the abuser. Victims can introspect themselves, but without continuous clarification and harassment, this clearly makes the victim become excessively angry.
2. Boomerang: Guilt trips that are done occasionally can be accepted or understood by the couple. However, if this behavior is repeated, it is likely to make your partner angry.
There are various ways to express anger and the anger that can be issued can vary, one of which is by rebelling. This condition actually backfired for the perpetrators. Couples don't turn out as expected, but on the contrary.
For example, guilt trippers don't like it when their partner doesn't answer their messages. However, due to being blamed and cornered too often, this couple is getting more and more rebellious.
It could be that he just replied to the message tomorrow or even the day after. This action is taken to retaliate for the behavior of the perpetrator.
3. Health Disorders: When they have excessive feelings of guilt mentally it can cause several mental disorders in them, such as they will experience disturbing anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and even lead to major depression.
Feelings of guilt coupled with curiosity can cause symptoms that are immediately physical. Starting from muscle tension, insomnia, nausea, to heart palpitations.
4. Withdrawing from the Social Environment: As the intensity of the guilt-ridden behavior increases, the victim may feel ashamed and low self-esteem more often.
They may speculate that they will make many other mistakes in the future. This certainly affects the level of self-confidence that makes them feel anxious and withdraw from the social environment.
A positive environment can be an important solution for victims. Protecting yourself from manipulative behavior also needs to be a priority before starting a relationship.
However, if at this time there are those who feel that they are victims of a journey of guilt, it is best to find a solution to overcome this. Don't let your relationship negatively affect you.
How to Overcome Guilt Trip Behavior
The first way to deal with the guilt trip that needs to be done is to validate the offender's feelings. Guilt trips can occur because the perpetrator feels neglected. By validating their feelings, victims can make them feel cared for and given space to express themselves.
If that doesn't work, it's best to be honest. The behavior of the perpetrator can make the victim confused and sad. On the other hand, the victim may also feel angry or irritated by the behavior.
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Through two-way communication, victims can make themselves and their partners understand each other. In addition, the victim must also be ready to remind if their partner starts to go on a journey of guilt again. Because, it may be difficult to change their habits.
Okay, enough of my articles this time which discusses About Guilt Trip: A Form of Manipulation in Toxic Relationships.