|How Not to Get Angry When Criticized|
To be honest, no one likes to be criticized, myself included. I don't like it either. But it cannot be denied that criticism is also important for self-development.
Criticism sometimes comes from people whose perceptions are different from yours, so they can provide a fresh perspective. If properly accepted and considered, criticism can help you thrive.
There are people who want and don't want to be criticized. But, what if you are not strong enough to be criticized, and of course you become more emotional?
What should you do if your social media posts are said to be bad? How do you respond to people who disagree with you on social media? This time I will discuss how to be more patient with criticism.
Feel Your Body's Reaction
When you receive a bad response on social media, what sensation do you feel in your body? Are you feeling emotional? Is your heart beating fast? Sweaty hands and stiff shoulder muscles?
For some people, negative feedback such as rude comments or disagreements can trigger a response. This response is called the fight or flight response; response that arises when we perceive a threat in our environment.
The fight or flight response often occurred when our prehistoric ancestors encountered a predator. In today's era, this response is still with us. We still have this fight or flight response. The problem is that in the absence of a predator, the fight-or-flight response arises in the wrong situation. In this case, the fight or flight response arises when we are criticized.
Criticism should not harm our bodies directly; but the part of our emotional brain still considers it dangerous. You may feel that criticism from your boss means your job is at stake and you will soon be fired.
Or someone rebutted your argument on social media. You immediately feel that he is your hater, and he is jealous of your success. Though all this is not necessarily true is it?
Before starting to analyze criticism, try to understand the thought processes that are going on in your brain. Do your thoughts make sense? This will help you process your reaction, and think of a better response to criticism.
Think of Criticism as a Form of Concern
Actually what makes our emotions rise to criticism is not because it is negative or not. But, back to our mindset about criticism. What are your views on criticism and dissent? Some see criticism as a quality enhancer, others consider it the same: all criticism comes from haters.
When we perceive all unpleasant comments as a form of hate, our brain immediately responds to this as a form of threat. Instantly boiling and chest rippled. Feel your lips. Lips should be bent like that. The way we think about criticism can also influence our reactions.
Therefore, try if you meet criticism tomorrow, change your mindset. When you face criticism, instead of seeing it as an attempt to bring you down, try to think of it as caring.
Or when you meet someone whose argument is against yours, take it as an attempt by him to have a discussion. If you are interested in the discussion, please reply. If the argument doesn't make you feel good, then don't reciprocate. Keep looking again; Some critiques are weighty, some are empty. How do you tell the difference?
Sharp criticism is usually also followed by a solution. Or followed by a well-founded thought. What if it's empty? Yes, it must have been just word of mouth, which was not followed by a logical solution or thought.
Develop a Growth Mindset
In terms of self-development, humans have two kinds of mindset. The two types are growth and fixed. People whose mindset remains aka stuck will perceive criticism as a threat. Angry, emotional. If possible, he would avoid situations in which he was criticized. He also gets angry when his thoughts or opinions are attacked.
People with a fixed mindset will resist criticism. The resistance can be in the form of a counter argument, or it can be silent but not heard. It's because they believe in who they are, and they believe they can't change.
It's not that people with a growth mindset aren't angry. Yes, they may be offended for a moment, but they will rise up and take negative criticism as a lesson. So, try to develop a mindset that wants to keep growing and keep learning.
Think That You Are Not Criticized
Sometimes what makes us emotional when criticized is that we take it too personally. It means as if we are individually affected. When we think like that, when we get harsh words later, we feel like we are falling. In fact, maybe only our way of thinking or our opinion is being criticized.
One day, if you get harsh criticism or an unpleasant argument, try changing your point of view. If you usually feel like it's directed at you, try directing the criticism at your work, or your opinion, and not you personally.
Or it could be by imagining that you are not the one being criticized, but other people. See yourself as a witness to criticism, not a target for criticism or argument.
Pause Before Responding to Criticism
The world of the internet and social media makes it easy to share opinions. So we can express our opinion quickly and easily, to anyone in the world. Unfortunately the internet and the opiate of social media make us impulsive. We sometimes become reflexive to express opinions like that, without being filtered and thought about again.
This applies to many netizens. Sometimes they just convey criticism like that, without considering the importance or not of their criticism. And perhaps you have been the target of criticism.
Before you get emotional, think about how they fell victim to the impulsiveness of social media. Excessive use of social media makes them reflexive to express opinions to any target. No filtering, no more thinking.
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And you should not fall victim to the same impulsiveness. If you are angry with criticism directed at you, in this case on social media, hold it for at least 24 hours. This will allow your emotions to subside and you can respond more clearly.
There is no obligation for you to respond to online criticism immediately. Just wait 24 hours for your emotions to subside. If so, just think about what you want to say in return.
But my advice, leave it alone. Wallowing in unnecessary trouble is a waste of energy. The same is true in real life. If you are carried away by emotions, then hold yourself until you have mastered your emotions.
Get used to being criticized
Criticism and arguments that come. The more often you are faced with such situations, the stronger you will become. That doesn't mean the discomfort will go away.
The discomfort is still there, only you become stronger and the criticism doesn't bring you down. Usually, if you dare to expose yourself and ask for input, you will often be criticized. You become stronger and more used to it.
That's what I wrote about How Not to Get Angry When Criticized. Criticism and suggestions are like hospital food. It's uncomfortable, but you have to swallow it if you want to be healthy. So if you have input and criticism, swallow it and take the nutrition.